The antithesis of the name Mike D’Antoni is the term “ball-stopper”, and with that said, New York Knicks face a monumental buzz kill that is likely to enter the picture in the next week or so: Carmelo Anthony. If you’re like Kobe, and under your bed, we’ll bring you up to speed. Basically the Knicks have spent $36 million annually to bring back basketball relevance to New York. Turns out it only should have cost owner James Dolan $762,195–Jeremy Lin’s salary–to be exact. Right now, that 36 mill sits in street clothes, and 18 of that sits with Carmelo Anthony. Mike D’Antoni has recently been quoted as saying he’ll ride Lin like Secretariat from here on out. Well, Mike, if Lin is your horse, sticking Anthony back into the lineup is like saddling your steed with Adam Sandler dressed as his own womanly likeness: hefty and bosomy and all together a major load. Don’t know what we mean? View the trailer of an insultingly awful movie, which we’ve posted for you below.
Long story short, Carmelo Anthony is the epitome of dead weight in the NBA. He left Denver, and the Nuggets are still soaring from the upswing. Meanwhile, the Knicks have been slogging every since the acquisition. Although we know a trade is never going to happen–because quite frankly I think James Dolan is as short sighted as any owner in the league–we can still call for Anthony to be traded. We can still dream of the possibility of adding one or even two major pieces to this flourishing puzzle. But the doom’s day equation isn’t rocket science. The team is more of a team than it has been in a decade, and one of the biggest ball-stoppers the league has ever seen is looming. All the analysis wonder, can Jeremy sustain this production? Probably, to an extent. But rest assured, Knick fans, the return of Carmelo Anthony may not quell the Linsanity completely, but it will stop the winning dead in its tracks. Please observe the trailer for a movie that is as bad as your team will be–again–if Anthony returns: