As we approach the NBA Draft Lottery this Wednesday, (May 30th), Lower the Rim would like to give a big hand to the boldest tank job of the season, one that all but secures its dedicated loser a lottery pick this summer. The effort made by the Golden State Warriors in the last quarter of the season was truly a work of art. Their play, combined with the mutiny that occurred during the late-season number-retirement ceremony for Chris Mullins, jettisons the Warriors into the Lower the Rim Hall of Fame – which we do sometimes confuse with shame at this establishment. We’d like to say that we’re so very proud of the Warriors, the coaches and the ownership, for this monumental achievement.
The research that must have gone into this, sweet merciful – the hours spent combing the D-League to find just the right set of no-names and going-nowhere players to put on the floor for the final push to the Lottery, it all symbolizes the lengths this organization will go to in order to foster the perception that they will ever be anything but less than average. They had to lose every game late this season to keep their 2012 pick – which would go to the Utah Jazz if its No. 8 or lower (per the trade agreement made as part of the Deron Williams deal in 2011). And by golly they did it, sitting ugly now with the 7th worst record. And now we hear word that they are willing to give Utah additional compensation to eliminate Utah’s 28-percent chance of keeping the pick. Now that’s the spirit. A real championship mindset there.
It’s nothing new. Resistance to badness for the Warriors is futile. Whether they keep the mediocre pick or not shouldn’t make a difference. Since the turn of the century, only the Clippers have more losses than the Warriors (just 5 more). Looking at it from a distance, the Warriors should be champions ten times over, because losses mean high draft picks. High draft picks should mean lots of talent to develop or trade. Lots of talent to develop or trade usually means wins – but not for this band of bozos. 544 losses since 2000, 9 lottery picks, and really not much to show for it. You remember the names, all-world talent like Troy Murphy, Ike Diogu, and, oh yes, Patrick O’Bryant; all snatched up in the lotto by Warrior brass: feelin’ lucky.
And for the Warriors, the lack of competence extends even further than player selection. 7 coaches have come and gone in 11 years in the GS. When Keith Smart squeezed 36 wins out of the mess that Don Nelson left last year, he was rewarded with a pink slip. Then the genius selection of Mark Jackson as coach in 2011. What Jackson lacked in coaching experience he made up with early confidence boasting after his selection – “I fully expect, put it in bold letters, the Golden State Warriors to be a playoff team next year – If I did not expect that, I would not have taken the job, and I won’t minimize it with just being a playoff team. We are looking to turn the Bay Area upside down.” Down is the key word there, Mark, and bless you and your bosses for taking so much hope and squashing it like a bug. Low standards are our business here at LTR, and considering the sequence as a whole, we are beaming.
That’s jelly for your freakin’ English Muffin